Creative Wanna-B

Yep. I am a creative wanna-b. It's true. I'm trying to learn the guitar and make some good music but it's not going so well. I take a tap class every week and while I do love it - I'm not so skilled at it. I was on the verge of taking a painting class but I decided to hold off and give myself some time to breathe. I start tennis lessons next month (don't ask, I have no idea what possessed me to sign up for tennis lessons). When it comes to sports, I think I'm pretty much the embodiment of that quote from Grease, "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." Preach on. As for music, maybe there is minor talent involved but I'm not exactly ready to be picked up by a major label or anything. The harder I try (and sometimes fail) at all these things, the more I realize that my dabblings are just repeated attempts for me to "find" myself. You know, that deep, dark chocolate Paula that no one (even myself) really knows. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. This is what I do know: I enjoy emailing and blogging and eating ice cream. Sometimes I go shopping and sometimes I sit at home and knit. Sometimes I wear flip flops and sometime I wear heels. I really want to learn how to surf. Sometimes I roll out of bed and leave the house and sometimes I spend an obscene amount of time getting ready before I walk out the door. I'm a bit of a diva who will tromp around muddy streets in Mexico to play with dirty kids for a few hours. I enjoy a good pedicure but would mess it up for a chance to hit the beach for the day. I would marry Fred Astaire if he asked me. Same goes for Gavin DeGraw or the guy from She's the Man. In fact, I'm planning on naming my first daughter Astaire. I really want to be a good guitar player (I don't have to be fantastic, I'll settle for good). I am NOT a clean freak but I often wish I was. I sometimes wonder how I ended up with such a great life. Then I realize that I don't really want to know the answer, I'm just gonna enjoy it while it lasts. And, after all is said and done, I just want to be an all around well-rounded person that is down to earth with a little diva thrown in. More than that, I don't really want to be a certain "type" of person - I just want to be Paula and have that be enough. So far, so good.